Dating can sometimes be compared to the roll of the dice. You meet someone and you hit it off so you keep going so you can see where it leads. An an important part of learning from past romantic relationships is to reflect and take inventory of things that worked and things that didn’t in order to prepare for any future relationship.
This week we sat with Marilyn and she shared some of her past including an abusive relationship experience which has become common place way too often for some women in today’s world.
But she has been able to overcome it all and is no longer in types of relationships, with a very strong opinion and a “don’t mess with me” attitude. She wants every reader to know that she is not a victim. She doesn’t cry about it anymore and definitely doesn’t want others to feel sorry for her, but yet to see all of the things she is accomplishing and has in the works. Because the abuse, both verbal and physical, have been the fuel to ignite this unstoppable woman from accomplishing whatever she puts her mind to…
So Marilyn, you mentioned prior to our interview that you had some stories to tell….let’s start with one of the toughest relationship experiences that you have had…..
Oh man guys, so this one is a doozy. So this man I loved with my every being, he had me wrapped so tightly around his finger it was disgusting. I don’t know what it was about him… he was an a**hole and verbally abusive which eventually transformed into physical. But I was that dumb young girl, not secure enough with herself to leave (mostly from the years of being told I was a piece of shit ) and but not subordinate enough to make him happy.
So worst thing a boyfriend has ever done……. was when he completely lost his mind . And threw me into the car by my hair! And sped 100+ MPH, running red lights and not giving a f*ck what happened or if he got pulled over . Took me out to the Arizona desert, right by the salt river actually. With my screaming and crying begging him to slow down and stop… what was wrong? Why is he doing this to me?! And deep down inside I knew he was going to kill me, I just knew it. And all through the screaming and crying and pleading with him he didn’t falter, he just kept on driving and kept his arm out to keep me off of him.
So I figured If I was going to die , he was going down with me. And just like that I grabbed the steering wheel yanking it towards my side and towards the desert shoulder…but he was able to gain control and came to a stop and was even MORE furious than before and that’s when he reached over and obviously being a lot stronger than I, choked me completely unconscious .
I woke up to my bare ass underneath my dress being scrapped on the desert floor, my panties almost to my knees. Then my body flung around so quickly I suddenly was on my back and had a gun in my mouth and I screamed and pleaded as best I could, he yelled something I don’t even remember what exactly, then pulled the gun out and chambered a round and as the barrel was pushed to my fore head.
I knew it. I was dead . And it was that moment when I felt a calm feeling come over my soul, over my entire body.
And I fell completely silent, no whimpers, nothing , just me looking up at him past that barrel and directly into his eyes. I had come to terms with my death, I was ready .
And he paused and then dropped his head and pulled the gun away… standing up and bringing me up with him to a standing position with him. He calmly told me to get in the car. And we drove home…….
Such a heartbreaking story…. and very lucky to be alive. So how has that relationship and that night changed or influenced your approach to relationships?
After that incident I was a changed soul even though I didn’t break it off immediately with him. I was in fear of a repeat event happening. So I stayed with him like an idiot and things never got better, just worse. Until a good friend basically gave me no other choice and took me out of state and away from him. And that began the epic journey of me as a traveling entertainer. Which helped me realize how toxic the whole relationship truly was and how i never ever wanted to go back to that again.
I then grew to be so much stronger than I could even imagine and won’t even put up any kind of disrespect anymore…as no man or woman should!
Well your strength is evident and thank you for sharing such a deeply personal story. Advice to women who are enduring this type of relationship?
He will NEVER EVER change, it will only get worse. Believe me, you can’t change him so just tell him to kick rocks!
So can you tell us about a lie or other surprising thing a boyfriend has done?
Well I was dating this guy for almost 2 years now and let me just say….I am a very horny chick. I wanna have sex at LEAST 3 times a day. And if I didn’t get that I would become quite moody. Well this dude would deny me regularly, like 4 or 5 times a week completely deny me. I would even just offer to give him head, just because I NEEDED that intimacy (it was my love language at the time).
So anyway , while pregnant and hornier than EVER it got to the point that I was in tears every night and the dildo was on my cl*t every morning he left for work, but I would find porn on his phone and he would deny that he even watched it and blamed his coworkers!
Well one night after being denied again before bed, I woke up from my sleep at 3AM to him getting up and going outside for a smoke and something inside me told me he was going to go watch porn! Well sure as shit he went outside, looked on FB , finished his smoke and then I noticed the screen color changed on his phone. Now mind you I was watching this whole thing from the window just waiting… and sure enough he pulled it out and started to stroke it and I just waited. I wanted him to be mid jerk session or at least ALMOST there when I barged outside and asked him “WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING”?!
So startled all he could spew out was… Jerking off! Well I grabbed his phone to make sure it wasn’t gay porn or something worse… it wasn’t… it was just some blonde with big boobs, the same old shit everyone has seen…
Well come to find out he was addicted to porn. And even though I’m a kinky lil girl, it didn’t matter.
Well damn, he must have been addicted if he resorted to doing it outside in the middle of the night!
Can you share the worst or funniest sexual experience?
Me and one Ex were so kinky together that he pushed my boundaries like you wouldn’t even believe. But it also brought me into my own and comfortable with my sexuality and the fact that I’m a full blown freak. So I’m a swinger, and technically in the “Lifestyle Community” I’m considered a Unicorn (Single female that follows the lifestyle guidelines, which is so rare, a cool chick willing to never go after the man she just banged because belongs to his wife, which NEVER happens in the lifestyle)
Anyway, I think something I still giggle about is that he wanted to pee on my face. So he put me in the shower and I still had my clothes on and he peed on my face…. and made me open my mouth so ya, it got in my mouth ….. and you know what? It’s not that bad! LMAO!
Instant turn-ons and offs?!
Instant turn off: A Bad kisser …. God I hate bad kissers! Slow down the tongue please, tease me a little bit and bite my lip ( SOFTLY). OH, and a HUGE turn off are the guys that attack the cl*t! It’s not a punching bag for your tongue buddy. In fact mine is quite sensitive and it HURTS when your focusing on practically pushing your tongue threw my pee hole!
Turn on: I would have to say that chivalry is yes still alive and true and opening the door for me , pulling out my chair for me to sit down ,Just being an all over gentleman in your everyday interactions ( In the bedroom you can act like a Caveman that’s ok) . That will get me naked, on your bed, ass up 75% faster than a guy that is totally clueless to these rather easy things to do for a woman.
Can we share any social media links of folks want to check you out?
My blog – www.marilyngogo.tumblr.com
Website – Will be launching soon www.marilyngogo.com
Well thank you for sitting with us Marilyn, it’s been real! Hope to catch up with you again… and thank you for rockin our T-Shirt!
And for anyone out there suffering through domestic abuse, please reach out and get help. Here is a link with more information, and if you can’t bring yourself to get help then contact us directly!
Photocred: Dawson O’Connor Smith
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